Friendships or harbour-less ships?

I think you just know when a friendship is over. Don’t you think? But how do you “break-up” with that friend? Especially when they have been in your life for more than 6 years and were regarded as one of your best friends for most of that time?

When is it time to call it quits though? Is it when you start to feel like you are putting in all the effort in trying to keep in regular contact? Or is it when they start only contacting you when they need advice — the same advice you have given them time and time again, to which they never listen?

It’s been on my mind a lot recently — how to break-up with one of the friends that has been in my life for 6+ years. She is a lovely girl and I love her to bits, but I always thought that friendships were a two-way street. I guess I was mistaken. I feel so drained in trying to “fix” her problems and it seems only then (when she has problems) that she even contacts me. But I have been feeding her the same advice for years, and she never takes it (I have come to accept that though).

It’s just started to really irritate me that she feels that she is the only one that matters, and that how I am always seems to come at the end of a rant. Sort of the: “Oh, I guess I should ask how she is even if I don’t really care how she is” sort of sentiment. It’s always a last thought and it doesn’t make me feel like she really cares how I am, so I always just say I’m fine or that I’m okay instead of actually telling her how I really am. That’s partly because I feel like that is what she wants to hear and partly because I don’t really want to tell her how I really am.

I have other friends, who I talk to more regularly, that really do want to know how I am, and I can be honest with them. I can tell them how I really am without hesitation. And, especially with my bestie, we can go days without talking and then when we do finally catch up again, we just pick up where we left off. No effort required.

But it’s with this particular friend, that lives over 3,000 miles away (which at times I am glad she does), that all the effort seems to have disspated from our relationship on her end. It’s like a chore to talk to her, to relate to her, etc, but I still try. But I am just not getting anything more back from her. It’s as if her life doesn’t really have space for me (I am sure that isn’t true, but it is how it feels at times) which doesn’t bother me, really. Friendships come and go — I just thought this was one of the life-time friend ones, you know? I just don’t know what to do. How do you end the friendship? Surely it shouldn’t be done over facebook… ? But in saying that, I don’t really have any other way to contact her except over facebook and email since I live in England and she in America…

Meh… is it worth the confrontation? That’s what I want to know. O.o

Xx Determined Creature xX

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